People Are Who They Are!

My Girls

These are my girls! The oldest is Hailey and the youngest is Felicia. We are doing great as far as getting the household set up and getting their rooms together. We are getting along great and have set a lot of rules that we are all in agreement about. They are a big help in the house and pretty well take care of themselves and each other. We have dubbed our house the “Happy House.”

The only problem I am having is financially. When I went to sign them up for school they told me that notarized paperwork was not enough, that I had to have paperwork from an attorney. I got both of the parents here on Tuesday and found an attorney and started the proceedings for full custody. Both parents signed off on it already, however the attorney is charging me $700. I gave him half of it but it has left me pretty broke and I still owe him the other half. I can’t go get any state help until the paperwork is finished and I am beginning to panic.

I have never ask friends for help and I hate to do it now, but I am desperate. I need some help. I have borrowed out what family I can borrow from and I don’t have anyone else to ask. If it was just for me, I wouldn’t even consider asking anyone, but it’s not. It’s for these kids. I haven’t been able to work because I couldn’t get them in school and I am getting further and further behind. I do have food stamps for myself already so I have food, but I’m out of money and I have to pay this attorney and I have to have running money until I can get the paperwork so I can get on welfare.

No, the parents are not helping at all. If anything it costs me to have them around. I’m just getting panicked. It would take me a while, but I will pay back whatever I borrow. So if anyone can help, please let me know. I hate worse than anything asking, but I hate worse to let these kids down any more. I will be fine once I can get them in school, get some state help and get back to work. I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am to ask but it would be greatly appreciated.

Update: I wanted to add that, I know everyone wonders why I didn’t go to legal aid or something. I made both of the parents come out here, (I had to drive two and a half hours each way to pick up my daughter) and I had them both here at the same time and I had to do something immediately. I actually wrangled the attorney I have on the courthouse steps with both of the parents standing there and told him the situation and that I needed the paperwork drawn up NOW while I had them both here to sign it. I didn’t want to give them a chance to change their mind and try to take the kids back.  So while I hate that I have put myself in the position to have to pay the money it was the only way to get it done immediately. I needed immediate custody papers to get the kids in school and to make sure I had the parents signatures before they went back home and I would have had to wait even longer to get them back out here.



13 responses

  1. Lady, I do not have much but if I can help you in any way I will. Go over to my page and use my contact form to send me a mess discuss any help I might be able to give you. ( I do not want to just type my email address for spam bots to find)

    October 14, 2010 at 11:41 pm

  2. I read your words… and I read them again… I used google. to verify so that I can understand what I can’t understand in fact. And the more I think about it (and try to understand) the more my fists clench in my pockets.

    I don’t know anything about the citizens rights – and I don’t care about it – because it don’t mean a thing what you read in any constitution, basic law or whatever you will call it – for me these are words written in a good mind but spreaded by greedy strongmen who put the hands on the wheel to fool and at last exploit the weak and powerless majority around the world.

    Don’t think that I’m a revolutionary. But I make me some other thoughts than to “make a collecte”.

    I can’t stand it that you are suffering because it’s embarrasing for you to ask your friends for money to pay the attorney. Is there any chance to get some legal aid?

    I won a price at the photo quest # 100 and it’s very hard to realize for me to redeem this gift card. I think it’s more easy that we contact Maureen so that she can assign this gift card from me to you.

    Al the best for you and your girls and please don’t panic be angry. Sometimes it helps to proceed 😉


    October 15, 2010 at 4:20 am

    • Real world you are so kind. I went back and explained why I didn’t go to legal aid. It was a time factor. I had to do it immediately.

      I so appreciate your help. I just want to get these kids settled and have them have the things they need. I got the legal papers today and I should have them in school hopefully by Monday and I went today to apply for all of the state help I can get. It won’t come until next month though. So I’ve just got to get through this first month and then we will be fine.

      They are such smart girls and they have been very patient about everything we have had to go through. They aren’t even angry with their parents or anyone for that matter which is amazing to me. I think I am going to learn more from them than they are from me.

      October 15, 2010 at 7:10 pm

  3. They are beautiful girls, Ladywise! It’s a real shame that their parents can’t help out.
    I’ll email you!

    October 15, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    • Thank you Lauri. They are also very smart. There is a lot of shame to go around here believe me.

      October 15, 2010 at 7:11 pm

      • That did not come out the way I intended.
        No one needs to feel shame. Circumstances are what they are and people do their best.

        Some have no best to do.

        October 15, 2010 at 7:35 pm

  4. If I wasn’t so broke myself, I’d send a money order right now. Try not to panic. Things *will* work out. Money has a way of coming to those who need it most.

    October 15, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    • Thank you Kim and I certainly don’t want anyone to try to help that can’t afford it. Thank you so much for just being willing. That means a lot.

      October 15, 2010 at 7:12 pm

  5. Those are two gorgeous smiles! I’m sorry that just as you’ve come together problems have popped up to dampen the joy you’ve been feeling.

    October 15, 2010 at 9:00 pm

  6. Reminds me what I told the.. Salvation Army? lady at the Mex supermarket yesterday night:

    “If I had, I would give.” It is a paraphrase of one of the scriptures of my faith (Mosiah 4:24, to be precise)

    I did help out a friend this month who is missing meals because he is destitute and has to drop out of college/uni. $10 was all I could afford, and I still ran out of money just yesterday.

    You have always been very kind, Debra. If I had money I could part with, I would surely give, but I can’t right now. So all I can do is wish you the very best and hope to have an opportunity later.

    P.S. if you could get set up with PayPal that would make it much easier and more secure for me.

    October 15, 2010 at 11:23 pm

  7. Ladywise, I think Jaklumen’s idea about paypal is great. That is if it is not too hard to set up and get the money out once people send you money (I have never done it so I do not know).

    I can not send you a whole lot, but I figure even if I only send you $10, that is $10 less you have to come up with. And if a bunch of us sent you what ever little bit we can you will be that much closer to paying off the lawyer. It is like when you see those donation jars at the gas station check out. everyone just drops their change in there, but all that change starts adding up and it helps.

    October 16, 2010 at 12:15 am

  8. You are a gift from God for your grand daughters. I will get a gift to you in the mail on Monday. I can’t afford very much right now. I still owe about $3000 for my knee surgery, but that can wait. And don’t forget, I’m sending you a gift. I do NOT want you to repay me. You can pass it on sometime.

    October 16, 2010 at 8:37 pm

  9. Freedom Smith

    Your girls are gorgeous!! I think you did a very wise thing in grabbing the attorney, when you had both parents, and getting the paper work done. You have a heart that cares and you are doing a wonderful things. Remember the saying, “We reap what we sow.” I am praying and I know that many others are. I know that the people that can help financially will. I love you so much and think that you have made such a happy home with your precious grandchildren. Were you able to get them signed up for school?

    Don’t be ashamed to ask people for help. If we hadn’t, we would not have our precious daughter from Vietnam.

    Love and hugs!!

    October 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm

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