Comments on the Last Post
I wanted to tell you that if you commented on the last post (My Granddaughter the photographer) I let Hailey read the post and comments and she actually left the replies herself. It really did a lot to make her feel good. The last few were done on “Grammy Deb” so sorry for the confusion. That remains a problem for us.
Getting them in school finally, has done a lot just in a couple of days to help us get into a routine. They seem to be acting more like little girls instead of trying to be adults. There is a lot of laughter and giggling that goes on around here so it really is fun. Felicia absolutely adores Ms. Donna and loves interacting with the animals up there. At first she was afraid of the goats but as you could see in the photos, she actually goes into the pen now and knows all of their names and pets and feeds them. I was telling the counselor at the school about that and she said that animals can be some of the best therapy there is for children.
Hailey still seems to be struggling with her place in life. She’s torn between being an adult and being a child. She has been Felicia’s “protector” all of her life up to this point so she has been hesitant to turn that job over to me. She really doesn’t know how to be a child and that’s probably my biggest challenge is teaching that to her. She is highly intelligent so that makes it even more difficult. She has opened up to me and we talk a lot about everything so that is a good sign, at least I think so. I keep looking for stuff to get her interested in (like the photography), so hopefully I will hit on the right thing eventually. She did enjoy taking the pictures that night and she has definitely enjoyed seeing the comments on the post.
All of this really makes me wish I had gone to college when I was young and studied psychology. I wouldn’t feel so lost and inefficient right now. I have talked at great length to the counselors at their schools and made them aware of the situation so that I have their cooperation and help.
I am also having to do a great deal of “counseling” with my daughter. She has been straight now for almost three months and is really starting to see and feel reality. She is also now having to deal with having signed her children over to me and that is causing a great deal of pain and guilt for her. I talked to her for two hours yesterday about learning to throw the past away and deal with today and the future instead. I asked her to take a box and right “the past” on it, write down some of the things that really bothered her about the past, and put them in the box. I told her when she was done to take the box and go in the back yard, dig a hole and bury it. I told her that she gave me the responsibilities of the children’s every day life and that her job now was to learn how to forgive herself and learn how to be happy again. I asked her not to talk to them at all unless she was in a good mood and happy. I told her that was her only job right now, to work on herself for the kids sake, that they did not need to see or talk to her when she was depressed and sad or upset. I will tell their father the same thing.
Now I just have to work on me. I am mentally exhausted already and trying not to let it show. If I didn’t have all my great friends here to talk to about everything, I don’t think I would make it through this, so thank you all for listening and for all of your support.