People Are Who They Are!

Court Today

I went to court this morning for the kids custody hearing and it was postponed until November 22. In a flurry of about two minutes this is what happened.

My attorney: Let’s go Ms. Brown, they are ready for you. Are the parents here?

Me: No sir, you didn’t tell me to get them here.

My attorney: Are the children with you?

Me: No sir, you didn’t tell me to bring them either.

Another man I had never met: Ms. Brown are the children with you?

Me: No sir. Who are you?

The man I had never met: I am the childrens’ advocate. I need to see them as soon as possible.

Me: No response, just a very questioning look.

We walk inside the courtroom. The judge stares at me but says nothing.

Me: Good morning Your Honor.

Judge: No response.

My Attorney: Your Honor, we do not have the parents or the children here and the home inspection has not been done yet.

Judge: Postpone this hearing until the 22nd.

That was it.

The man I had never met asked me to go to his office across the street and set up an appointment for him to meet with the children. I did that. They go to see him this afternoon.

I went to the Department of Human Resources and met with the woman who is supposed to do the Home Inspection. She told me that she was just notified on Friday afternoon that she was supposed to do the home inspection. We have it scheduled for November first.

Does it sound like someone or several someone’s are not doing their jobs to you, or is it just me that thinks that?

I will tell you this is the most legal wrangling event I have ever been through.



23 responses

  1. I imagine that there are all kinds of lapses and miscommunications that occur all the time…but you would think that someone would have thought to mention that you bring the children and/or the children’s parents there.

    It’s going to be a rocky ride, but when it’s all overwith should be well worth it!

    October 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    • I agree Lauri. That one thought that it will be worth it all when it’s all over with is what keeps me going every day. It is exhausting though. lol

      October 25, 2010 at 3:52 pm

  2. Sounds like typical gubbermint attitude. Hurry up and wait and fill that form out in triplicate yesterday.

    October 25, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    • Yes, I have filled out form after form after form after form! I do have writer’s cramp. I’m used to typing! lol Gubbermint, I like that word!

      October 25, 2010 at 3:53 pm

  3. How times change. I was a foster child at 6 weeks, later told I was adopted. Found out after years that there was never any legal adoption papers filed. My history was sealed for some reason for 75 years. Not knowing that my name was different on my birth certificate than the name the foster parents gave me, I got married under what I assumed was my last name – even had a social security card in that name. Fortunately, I got married in California on vacation. One of the few states that didn’t consider what I did as being fraudulent.

    Never did find my real parents, or relatives – but for years now have gone back to my name on my birth certificate – even noticed that my foster mother added their name on it. No lawyers, no money exchanged hands.

    Maybe I am from another planet, or time warp.

    I know you must be so frustrated, keep looking up.

    October 25, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    • My grandmother remarried after my dad was born and she changed the names on my dad’s and his brother’s birth certificates. I actually have my dad’s certificate and you can see where she just erased it out and changed it. lol So legally I grew up with the “wrong name” myself.

      Yes this is definitely a whole new world today.

      October 25, 2010 at 3:56 pm

  4. Gotta love our government efficiency.

    October 25, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    • I know right? They only hold court once a month around here too, so if you don’t get it right the first time, you’ve got plenty of time before the next time rolls around. lol

      October 25, 2010 at 3:57 pm

  5. … and on and on and on it goes. I strongly encourage you to become truly proactive and inquire every step of the way “what documents do I need?” “what will I need to bring?” “who needs to be there and who doesn’t.” Anticipate. Take initiative. Step up to the plate. Think and think ahead. Cover all bases as best you can to reduce surprises and the effects of inefficiency. Otherwise you’ll keep being jerked around as you’ve been and that ride is no fun.

    October 25, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    • Well, I didn’t get a call about going to court until Friday afternoon and was told to be there Monday morning. I asked the secretary should I bring the parents or the kids and she was supposed to have the attorney call me back and tell me and of course they never did.

      The lady that was supposed to do the home inspection wasn’t told she was supposed to do that either until Friday afternoon so of course there wasn’t time to get it done.

      None of it was my fault. I have done everything I am supposed to do.

      October 26, 2010 at 12:16 am

      • Excellent. Keep doing it. And when they don’t call you back, keep calling them back. The legal system is a sea of inefficiency, one really does need to create one’s own lifesaver. Or raft. Or find if necessary new representation. Just stay prepared for a slog.

        October 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm

  6. Freedom Smith

    I am confused. This is a private adoption so why are all of these people getting involved. And is this going to cost more money? When we had a home visit to adopt our daughter, we had to pay for it. I cannot believe, with the papers signed, that you have to have everyone with you. What was the purpose of getting the papers signed? Maybe it is a time to talk to the judge again. Gah. I am so sorry, Ladywise. This is just ridiculous.

    I will say that we had so many hurdles to jump through with our daughter that I came out amazed that so many people made it through the adoption process.

    But yours is not even permanent, right? This is so frustrating. Bless your heart. You are a strong woman and if I were there, I would be there helping you. Hang in there. Let us know what happens. Perhaps get online and read some adoption law from your state. ((hugs))

    October 25, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    • Thanks Freedom. Yes this is permanent. I am getting full permanent custody of the kids, voluntary given up by the parents.

      October 26, 2010 at 12:18 am

      • Freedom Smith

        After all of this, I bet you wonder what your lawyer’s specialty is. I blame this latest snafu to the fact that he did not tell you what you needed to do to be ready for court. The home visit office got the request Friday and your court date was Monday? He should have had all of that under control and he should have told you that you needed to have the kids and the parents in court. I am so sorry. This is just making things so much harder on you. I cringe at the thought of you trying to again round up the parents and such. You are a trooper and I know this is so frustrating. I hope that things will go more smoothly. I especially hope that the parents will be cooperative when they come to court. Oh, Ladywise, I am sorry that this is so hard!

        October 26, 2010 at 11:23 am

  7. I hate lawyers. This just reminds me why.

    October 25, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    • I know right? I have never had many dealings with them but my distaste for them is growing! lol

      October 26, 2010 at 12:18 am

  8. Hang in there! It’s certainly frustrating to not have all the information you seem to need (like having children/parents with you). I had 3 trips to the DMV here before they’d give me a license – really through no fault of my own as each time I was given different information about what I needed as a foreigner applying for a driver’s license. The 3rd time I had so many papers that I almost dared them to tell me I didn’t have something. The French wife of a guy I work with went back the second time and when told that she still didn’t have what was needed, burst into tears. They called Security to have her escorted out!! I don’t think she ever went back.

    October 25, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    • Oh I can only imagine what a nightmare that was. My attorney’s office has been terrible about returning phone calls. arrrgg!

      October 26, 2010 at 12:20 am

  9. I am glad they just postponed and did not impose some kind of fine or even some terrible ruling that the girls could not stay with you until you got things right. So many time government agencies will fine/charge a person when they don’t have things right, even if it is not their fault, but if the agency does something wrong the citizen has to just accept it.

    October 26, 2010 at 4:16 am

    • Well, I’ve been sweet and patient through all of this, but had they tried to fine me or impose anything on me about this they would have seen a different side of old “Grammy” here, trust me. lol

      October 26, 2010 at 3:14 pm

      • Thatta girl, Lady!
        We can be sweet and patient until the time for sweet and patient is passed and then……it’s Mama Grizzly TIME!!!! Roar!!!

        October 26, 2010 at 3:17 pm

  10. Emmy

    Oh, it’s not just you. I assume this is the State? Most states are famous for this stuff. Totally disorganized, incompetent. There are workers here and there who really do good work and do care, but the red tape gets in the way. I’m sure you already knew that. If they have any sense they will side with you and give you all the resources you need.

    October 26, 2010 at 11:59 am

    • I think that most people are truly sympathetic to what I’m trying to do and would really rather help me but their hands are tied tightly with “red tape.” I am one of those people that if it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

      The bright side of the postponement is that the new court date is the day before my birthday, so I will get custody of the kids for a birthday present.

      I’ve actually already been told that even if they decided against me actually getting custody for some reason, they still would probably not physically remove them from my home. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but that is what I was told by the lady that is going to do the home inspection next week. I really don’t see there being any problems with the custody issue because both parents have already signed legal consents to it. I think it’s more just a matter of the formalities at this point.

      October 26, 2010 at 3:19 pm

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