People Are Who They Are!

The Childrens Attorney

So this was funny. The guy that I didn’t know in court yesterday turned out to the Attorney that was appointed by the court to represent the kids in the custody hearing. So when they came in from school yesterday, I told them that we were going to see their attorney. They looked at me really funny of course, and I explained to them that the court had appointed them an attorney to make sure that things were going the way they wanted them to go.

So we went down there. The attorney had me sit in for a couple of minutes while he explained to them who he was and what his job was as far as protecting their rights. He then had me wait in the lobby while he talked to the children together without me in the room.

When they came out, everyone was smiling and happy so I assumed they told him they were happy being with me and so on. He handed each of them his card, shook their hands and told them that they could call him any time they had a problem or question about what was going on.

So on the way home, they started messing with me about having their own attorney. Hailey looked at me real serious and said, “You realize you can’t ground me or anything now Grammy.” I wasn’t thinking about the “attorney thing” and I said, “What makes you think that?” She said, “Because I’ll call my attorney!!!!” Of course we all busted out laughing and all the way home they came up with all kinds of things that would bring about the need for them to call “their attorney.”

I was actually very happy about this little move because it seemed to have given them a sense of having some rights and some say so in the whole thing and in their lives in general. They joked about it, but I think it really did something way deep down inside to empower them. They are such great kids and this really made them feel good. They got to tell their side of what happened that caused them to end up here in the first place and the attorney explained to them that whatever they said to him, he couldn’t repeat to anyone unless they wanted him to.  He told them that it didn’t matter to him what mom or dad or grandma or anyone else in the world wanted, that his job was to make sure that what was happening was agreeable to them.

How empowering is that for children who have been through so much. I really feel like that fifteen minutes they spent with him may possibly change their lives.


18 responses

  1. Yep, dealt with a couple of children’s advocates. Some much better than others. Sounds like things are slowly coming around. The gubbermint has lots of red tape an frustration, so just be patient and stay with it. It will be the best thing you could do for the grandkids as well as your daughter.

    October 26, 2010 at 1:43 am

    • Thanks Kzinti. I agree. I just feel like it made them feel like they finally had some power over something in their lives and I enjoyed seeing that for them.

      October 26, 2010 at 2:57 pm

  2. Oh how cool. That sounds fantastic on so many levels. Probably makes the whole paper mill a whole lot easier on you too I would guess?

    October 26, 2010 at 1:43 am

    • Oh much easier. The children are being able to have their “own” voices heard in the matter and I like that.

      October 26, 2010 at 2:58 pm

  3. That does sound like a very empowering experience for them.

    October 26, 2010 at 2:57 am

    • Yes I think it was. They have already come such a long way just in the past month, but I think this really drove home all the things that I’ve been trying to tell them. I promised them that I would protect them no matter what, and now they even have their own attorney, so I think they feel even safer now.

      October 26, 2010 at 3:00 pm

  4. This attorney would make a great pediatrician – great child-side manner. How early kids have to learn about “calling my lawyer” these days.

    October 26, 2010 at 11:08 am

    • Oh yes, he was great with the kids. They were comfortable with him immediately and they had no problem letting me walk out of the room.

      October 26, 2010 at 3:01 pm

  5. Emmy

    Beautifully written. I read about these bullied kids and I wish more parents would look at it the way you did. They do have rights and although they need a caregiver to discipline them, all kids need to know that no one has the right to cause them misery, especially in school. Well done.

    October 26, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    • Thank you Emmy, very much. This was probably the highlight of all the things we have done so far in this journey. The children have been along for the entire ride so they know what all I have done to make this happen. Like I said above, I think this was like the icing on the cake for them. They not only have me in their corner, but if something happens to me, they have an attorney to make sure that they are protected beyond that. I loved it.

      October 26, 2010 at 3:04 pm

  6. That’s wonderful.

    October 26, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    • It was wonderful Kim. I’m so glad you are following along with this story.

      October 26, 2010 at 3:05 pm

  7. Wow! That is so cool! I can only imagine how empowering that would be! (What a great idea for a story…)

    October 26, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    • I wish I had time to write right now. There are so many things I want to write about that have gone on and haven’t had the mind set. It’s going to take me a while to get to that point again.

      October 26, 2010 at 4:17 pm

  8. Freedom Smith

    That is incredible. I had no idea that this would be what happened. Is an attorney always assigned to the children? That is pretty neat. That would be a really good thing, in case one of the parents was not cooperating in the court, for some reason. The judge for the children could step in and say what they wanted. Keep us updated. This is rather amazing! When the adoption is finalized, you three need to have a huge celebration!

    October 26, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    • Court was postponed until the 22nd of November. The 23rd is my birthday. If all goes well, the kids will be my birthday present and we will definitely celebrate!

      October 26, 2010 at 4:58 pm

  9. I’m sure you are right about the empowerment – such a boost for their confidence too.

    October 26, 2010 at 6:42 pm

  10. He sounds like a lawyer. Whether he proves his mettle and is sincere time will reveal.

    October 26, 2010 at 11:31 pm

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