People Are Who They Are!

A Major Ordeal

Ok, I know I tend to have major ordeals in my life and you probably get tired of hearing about them. However, I have to share this one with you. Both of the girls are beautiful and having started new schools, one thing they have both had to deal with are jealousy issues from other girls in their schools. I understand this and have been helping them to try and work through these issues.

This week, Hailey had a pretty major jealousy issue to deal with, girl boy stuff, and we worked through it. I won’t go into it. Yesterday, expecting a possible call about Hailey’s issue, I checked the voice messages after being outside for a bit, and instead found a call from Felicia’s school. What ensued was definitely not expected.

Felicia is bad to tattle on other children in her class. According to her, the teacher has told them to do this, something I highly doubt and will deal with on Monday one way or the other. Apparently, she tattled on three little girls who were cheating in some fashion on their work. They knew she tattled and according to her, threatened to kill her. She was so upset, she told a friend that she was going to kill herself. Luckily, that little girl went to the teacher and told her what Felicia said and Felicia was immediately brought to the office and sat down with the counselor.

Now, the counselor there is great. I have talked with her at great length and explained everything that these children had been through before I got them, so she was very familiar with Felicia. She talked to her about the situation at hand and then had her sign a “No Suicide Contract”. Have you ever heard of such? I mean we are dealing with an eleven year old to begin with. The counselor is to follow up this morning (on a Saturday) and make sure she is alright.

I can’t tell you how upset I was all day yesterday. First of all, this deals with the issue of telling on other kids in the first place. I’m torn because I want to tell Felicia that what everyone else does is not her business and it is not her place to keep everyone else in line. However, if the other little girl had not told anyone what Felicia said, maybe she may have seriously contemplated suicide and no one would have known.

Second of all, because Felicia told on the other girls, the three of them turned on her and threatened her and that becomes what is considered bullying. There is a zero tolerance for bullying at the school so they are in serious trouble for that.

Now, all of that comes into play before I even get to the fact that she even thought to say the words “I’m going to kill myself.” Where does an eleven year old even come up with that as a solution to a problem. She actually wrote it down on a piece of paper, so she definitely had the thought.

We had a long talk about suicide in general last night. My ex husbands oldest brother committed suicide and I watched a large Catholic family fall apart over it. Later, after my ex remarried, his step son committed suicide and I saw how devastated he and his new wife were over that. Her son was 23 and had just finished college. It was truly sad. I explained both of these incidences to Felicia last night and she did not know about either. I also asked her to close her eyes for a moment and just try to imagine how she would feel if her sister killed herself and suddenly was no longer with us. She cried hard.

I told her that she was truly loved by so many people and that we would all be devastated if she were not with us. I said that she had to learn to come to me any time anything happened so that I could help her deal with it. I said there is NOTHING that we can’t take care of and that there would never be a reason for her to end her life or even think about ending her life over. I told her that I didn’t EVER want to hear those words come out of her mouth again. Of course there was more to this conversation than I am putting in here, but I think in the end, that she understood. Just to be sure, I had her write a letter about it when we were done. This is what she wrote (in her words and spelling).

I just now realised how awful life would be with out me for my friends and family. They would be sad a lot and my friends would be so sad they would not want to do any thing. I know now how awful killing your self would be. It is very bad if you kill your self at a young age because you would have lost your whole life that was ahead of you. I now know not to say or think of killing my self ever agin.

I am working with the school counselor to resolve this entire issue but my God! I am just so devastated that the whole thing happened in the first place. It is such a challenge to raise kids today. I can never remember thinking about killing myself over anything at that age and my children never had any issues like this at that age. Why would that kind of thought even enter that child’s head? I am just really curious to hear your feedback about this. I actually looked into home schooling options yesterday. This scares me.



42 responses

  1. Yeah I had those thoughts a lot at her age, and the thing that stopped me was exactly the things that you explained to her. I’d had some pretty terrible stuff go on at around that time though – but I bet all the upheaval in their lives has been fairly traumatic, too.

    Also – there’s been a lot of media talk about kids killing themselves because of bullying, and I think sometimes that can put it into a kids head – which doesn’t mean she’s not utterly serious, or that the media is wrong to talk about it.

    I don’t think it would have helped for someone to tell me to not ever think it again. Then I would have felt guilty over thinking about it. I think for me it would have worked better if it had been framed as “not dwelling on it” and framing my distress in non-suicidal ways such as “wow, this situation has felt so bad for me that I really really don’t want to live through something that feels that bad again.”

    December 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

    • Thank you so much for your honesty in that response LOM. I really appreciate it. I was very freaked out about how to handle this to be honest. I worried if I said the wrong thing I might make it worse. The counselor called back today to check on her and after telling her how I dealt with it, I got a pat on the back from her. That felt good as this lady is highly educated and I have the greatest respect for her.

      She also assured me that there are several meetings set up with the parents of the girls who made the threats against Felicia on Monday and that they will be dealt with appropriately. This ended up being a very big and very serious ordeal because of the new bullying laws. She said she will call me back on Tuesday to let me know what was done.

      December 4, 2010 at 6:58 pm

  2. Felicia probably isn’t used to having someone to depend on for support and help when life gets chaotic. Chances are she felt very overwhelmed and that’s what came out.

    She seemed to be very, very responsive to your discussion, and she saw that you got involved right away. I’m guessing that she will be none the worse for wear. Working through the issues at school with your support will more than likely help her to be a stronger young lady. She is very lucky to have you.

    December 4, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    • Thanks LB. The counselor kept referring to her feelings about it as depression and I corrected her and told her that it was not depression that hit her suddenly, it was pure fear. One of the girls said that she would “kill” her and apparently Felicia believed her. She was filled with fear. She has not been depressed at all. She has moved so many times and lived in so many places that this move did not bring about depression. She is elated living here. She is kept very busy and is a very happy child. She is doing well in school and looks forward to life every day. I am extremely happy and proud of that. This was very upsetting all the way around for all of us.

      December 4, 2010 at 7:02 pm

  3. You said “but my God!” There is always comfort in prayer.

    I had a best friend whose pre-teen son hung himself due to being bullied at school.- It was several years ago, but it seems so resent. I can remember being taunted at school, fat and wore glasses – they didn’t call it bullying then and no one seemed to do anything about it. I remember having the same suicidal thoughts – hard age for kids.

    Kids today seem so bent on inflicting pain – and with cell phones and the internet it gets ramped up. Girls are the worse – where all that jealousy stems from is beyond me.

    Home schooling is a great idea as long as the girls have other interaction with their peers. Is there a church group near you that they could join and go on trips with? Just a thought.

    Keep looking up . . . .

    December 4, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    • Thanks TB. Actually from what I could gather researching the home schooling idea it would cost about $3000 per child per year. I can’t afford it. We will have to continue in public school and work through the problems. I did assure both of the girls though, that if I had to go up there and sit in the classroom with them all day, that I would do just that.

      Kids can be very cruel. I did discuss the fact that the teacher did tell the children to tell on each other and I told the counselor that I did not agree with that at all. I told her that it was the job of the teacher to supervise those children, not the children’s job to supervise each other. I told Felicia that the only time she should tell the teacher anything was if someone was hurting her or if she thought someone was going to hurt themselves. Other than that, it was not her place to tell on other children. That was what caused this entire ordeal in the first place. Thanks for your input.

      December 4, 2010 at 7:09 pm

  4. The No Suicide Contract is pretty heavy stuff for kids of that age. And girls of that age threatening to kill another of the same age is frightening. Poor Felicia. She must be very confused. I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing by telling on the girls but it has backfired for sure. My daughter ended up leaving school because she was being bullied but it was by a teacher. She was older though.

    December 4, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    • Yes, I thought it was pretty heavy too. I told Felicia that in the future she was not to tell on anyone else unless they were going to hurt her or hurt themselves. She did think she was doing the right thing because the teacher DID tell them to tell on each other. I think after my conversation with the counselor today that the instruction will be amended.

      I’m so sorry your daughter had to leave school even if she was older. I have said for years that the government should start building smaller schools within the neighborhoods instead of building them bigger and bigger. The more kids you have in one place the less control you have over them. Of course parents need to take more control over their own children for sure. This is really a complicated situation. There is a lot of fallout coming out of this one incident already.

      December 4, 2010 at 7:13 pm

  5. Ugh, sorry this has happened! School seems completely crazy these days, and I can’t tell if it’s because everyone has lost their marbles, or if it’s that teachers and counselors are more aware of problems and there’s less denial. Probably both.

    December 4, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    • Thanks Scott. That was exactly my thought…school seems completely crazy now! I also agree that it is a little of both…people have lost their marbles AND the teachers and counselors are much more aware of problems. There are so many children that are not being properly trained or supervised at home to begin with. Both parents work or the parents are divorced and the one parent they live with works or they live with elderly grandparents who have not kept up with things. The teachers and counselors are definitely more aware of problems because they have to be. Someone has to pay attention to what is going on with these kids.

      December 5, 2010 at 9:37 am

    • I’m guessing that teachers and counselors have a prescribed protocol for responding to any kind of suicide threat….no matter how young the student. There’s just too much at stake if they don’t respond with all seriousness.

      December 5, 2010 at 10:15 pm

      • I’m sure that’s it, exactly, that they take all such quite seriously.

        December 5, 2010 at 10:39 pm

      • I agree. I’m glad they did.

        December 5, 2010 at 10:50 pm

  6. Emmy

    My word. Many blessings and hugs your way, Ladywise. The signing of the contract may be a psychological tactic. I just recently read that when getting kids to not lie or to do something, it is much more effective to make them Promise to do something than to lecture them on why they should not lie, etc etc.

    My 2 cents: first those girls cheat, then they threaten to kill one of your girls? I’m sorry, but they are a menace. I hope they get dealt with. Tattling is not great but when I was a struggling grade schooler, the last thing I appreciated was someone cheating on a test.

    If it’s any consolation, I know that when I was a child you were exactly the kind of person who knew just how to make me feel better. I am sure Felicia had the best support possible from you.

    December 4, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    • awwww, thank you so much Emmy. I really struggled about how to deal with it all. As far as the other children go, they are in a lot of trouble because of the zero tolerance for bullying rules. I looked it up in the school handbook last night and it is dealt with seriously. The counselor said that she has all three sets of parents coming in Monday morning for conferences about it and they will determine what action they will take.

      I never liked anyone cheating either, but like I told Felicia, she is not the teacher, the mother, nor the police girl of the classroom and it is not her place to supervise the other children.

      December 5, 2010 at 9:44 am

  7. and you probably get tired of hearing about them

    Not I, Deb.

    Have you ever heard of such? I mean we are dealing with an eleven year old to begin with.

    I half-heartedly attempted when I was her age. There wasn’t any “No Suicide Contract” then, but I told my plans to a friend. He told a school administrator. At the time, I was so upset he did that, but of course, looking back, I’m glad he did.

    December 5, 2010 at 2:10 am

    • Thanks jak. See that’s why I was torn. I ended up having to make this very complicated for her because I had to tell her that she was not to tattle on people for cheating or eating in class or whatever little things they were doing wrong, BUT if someone was hurting her or she thought they were going to hurt themselves, then she should tell.

      My own reaction was just horrifying when someone was telling me on the phone that they have had my child sign a “no suicide contract”. I had never heard of such and the word suicide just kept ringing through my head. It really took me two days of sorting it all out to calm down and get a realistic picture of the whole thing.

      December 5, 2010 at 9:49 am

  8. I understand your concern and feelings. Believe me, it does happen, even as young as 8. The suicide contract is quite a common procedure, as are behaviour contracts.

    I assume she is 11? At that age she should not be telling on other students, so they will no doubt analyse what made her feel that she should. It is usually something that they pass through at a younger age, but she might be slow to mature in that area.

    If they threatened her they do need to be in trouble. Hopefully they will mediate between the girls at school. The best thing would be to get them together as a group and discuss all the various issues.

    Stay calm – you are doing a good job, and you are not in this alone now. The school will help.


    December 5, 2010 at 3:40 am

    • Thank you very much FD. I was anxiously awaiting your response to this since you are a teacher. Yes she is eleven and I agree that they should not be tattling at that age. I had already gotten on to her about tattling and she kept insisting that the teacher had told them to tattle. Well, I asked the counselor about it and she said yes, the children are encouraged to tattle on each other. I said, rather angrily, that I did not agree with that and that I absolutely did not want MY child told to tattle when I was telling her at home not to do it. I explained to the counselor that the tattling was exactly what led to the entire incident and with that knowledge in mind, I blamed the school for what happened.

      She said they would take another look at the policy because she agreed that this would not have taken place had it not been for the tattling.

      As for the other girls, they apparently are in serious trouble. All three sets of parents are scheduled for conferences with the school on Monday and something will be done since the words “I will kill you” were said.

      I am much calmer now because as you said, I do not feel so alone. The counselor there is absolutely wonderful, not only with the children, but she has been a great help to me as well.

      I really appreciate the pat on the back from you too as I truly respect your opinion FD. Thank you.

      December 5, 2010 at 10:03 am

  9. There isn’t really a thing I can say on that subject, to be honest. I just send you lots of hugs and hope the situation will be resolved and life will go back to normal very soon.
    It’s when I hear things like that, that I start wondering. Is it really worth it putting a child into this world and make them go through things like that?

    December 5, 2010 at 6:57 am

  10. Thank you for the hugs Irony. They are greatly needed at this point.

    As far as bringing children into the world these days, my advice to young people would be, if you are going to bring a child into the world today, be very financially prepared for it so that you have the money to deal with things appropriately. Right now, if I had the money I would have the children in private school or I would have them home schooled and pay someone to come in and tutor them through it. I would have the money to take them to see things in the world that would educate them and give them the opportunity to appreciate the finer things in life. As it is for me, I am below poverty level and these children are only being exposed to poverty and all of it’s problems. That saddens me greatly.

    December 5, 2010 at 10:11 am

  11. Speaking of tattling – I live in a condo complex, we all have one parking space and one garage unit with some storage – there are 4 inside spaces in each garage with no dividing walls.

    Now, we also have about 10 visitor spaces in front of our units. Residents are not supposed to park there – violation of association rules. It is used mostly by ‘residents’ – the Association now wants us to TATTLE on our neighbors – get the plate number, take a picture for verification and report in. YIKES! Can you imagine the chaos and disunity we would have. Not to mention some retaliation by renters or owners.

    I really dislike the association putting us in this position. No one I know will do this – including us.

    Somehow this is more than filing a report, it’s a threat to our peace with our neighbors. Maybe not quite the same as school bullying, but . . .

    Another condo owner – not in our neighborhood – confronted 3 older skateboarders, He told them it wasn’t allowed there. One kid hit the man with his skateboard. The man was a Marine and beat the heck out of the kids.

    Soon after, the kids came back and destroyed whatever they could on his unit and property. The man’s wife was pregnant at the time and is now undergoing therapy for this assault.

    Yes, I agree – many people and kids have lost their marbles.

    December 5, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    • Oh my gosh! What craziness! But see, that’s exactly why I always told my own children and have told my grand children not to tattle on other people. You never know what they will do. People are crazy. I would never be in a job that required “tattling” of any kind or having to enforce rules on other people. I’m basically afraid of people, even kids. Geezzz.

      December 5, 2010 at 3:11 pm

  12. A “No Suicide Contract” is bullshit. Schools need to get out of the business of parenting and back to the business of educating. Pipe dream, yes, but there it is. I see that you overreacted in general and in particular by having her pledge in writing that she’ll never think about it. No one gains by another’s thoughts. Ever.
    Since depression and other signs symptomatic of the suicidally prone are absent, her comment comes off as reactive and not a threat.

    In all, I see responses that are overreactive and lacking in common sense on the part of the adults. The girls who made the threat need to be dealt with – and evidentally are – so that’s good, though to what degree I can’t say.

    December 5, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    • Boy, that was a pretty harsh comment Ally. I don’t think I overreacted at all. It was a very upsetting ordeal. I did not ask her to pledge anything. I asked her to write a letter explaining what she learned from the experience and I am hardly trying to dictate her thoughts.

      December 5, 2010 at 10:12 pm

      • “I said … that there would never be a reason for her to end her life or even think about ending her life over.” That isn’t commanding or laying down rules about what she can and cannot think? “I told her that I didn’t EVER want to hear those words come out of her mouth again.” That further supresses communication and sends the message that she is not to talk about a subject that makes you uncomfortable. You asked for readers’ views. I responded with what I hear as a listening observer.

        December 6, 2010 at 2:37 am

      • It’s not what you’re saying, it’s how you’re saying it.

        I don’t think Deb is trying to discount your experience or diminish what you’re saying, Waterbaby. Really, though, I am curious: as most people DO speak from their own personal experience, are you recalling an incident where adults unfairly coerced you at Felicia’s age, or something similar?

        I think Emmy’s comment that letters and contracts may be psychologically appropriate for tweens has some merit. I was trained to be a school teacher some time ago, and it is rather congruent with my training and my experiences as a parent.

        Please, don’t misunderstand. I’m going to be candid for a moment and say I do get that commanding a child is wrong. But I did grow up in a highly dysfunctional family, and I’ve had to adjust boundaries and guidelines accordingly for the protection and sanity of my own family (against my parents sometimes, too).

        My daughter is only 8 but is fiercely independent. I know that ordering her around will not work. However, Cimmy and I have used contracts, sentence writing, etc. to make very clear what the rules of our home are and what our expectations are. We have explained that such things are what real grown adults agree to in real life. I can’t force my daughter to be good, but I can explain to her what real life expects of her when she is grown and out on her own. She might have to learn things the hard way like her parents, aunts, and uncles did, and I accept that. But I will present things as assertively as I can.

        December 6, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    • It would indeed be very nice if parents would just do their job, but sadly, some have checked out and schools have to pick up the slack.

      I’ve been informed that Cimmy and I are doing fine as parents for the most part.

      December 5, 2010 at 10:37 pm

      • Let me clarify something here since this seems to be getting so out of hand. When I told her that I didn’t EVER want to hear her say that again, I didn’t say it in a demanding “you’re in trouble” tone of voice. I said it in a pleading voice as to say, I don’t EVER want anything to happen to you and I don’t want you to feel like suicide is an option at all. I thought showing everyone the letter she wrote would clarify that pretty well on it’s on. I’m not a demanding person and I didn’t demand anything out of her. Hell she was already traumatized enough after having a child threaten to kill her. Why on earth would I be mean to her after that. I wasn’t trying to dictate anything to her. I was trying to make damn sure she understood that she was too well loved to ever have a reason to want to kill herself no matter what happened.

        Now, maybe as some have said, this was just a reaction to what happened. The more time I’ve had to think about it the last couple of days, the more I’m sure it was. However, I have had to deal with their mother being a drug addict for the last fifteen years and she has not only threatened suicide on a regular basis, but has actually attempted it twice. So, for me, yes, this was an extremely big ordeal, and maybe I did overreact. That’s one reason I put it out here for discussion, because I would like some input about it. I don’t need to be beat up about it though because I feel bad enough already.

        Jak, I think you are trying to defend me here and I don’t want to see you and Ally get into it over this. I did want feedback and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me or pat me on the back, but I did feel that the comment Ally left was a bit harsh.

        December 6, 2010 at 4:18 pm

      • Emmy

        Thanks, Jaklumen, for confirming that that approach is legit – it was just a blurb I read in the Boston Globe about recent studies. I think research about kid’s brains and development can offer great promise in saving them from problems.

        December 6, 2010 at 5:08 pm

      • You’re welcome, Emmy. I’m fortunate to have family and friends that have been teachers. They said a lot of the same things: parent involvement was always important, teaching helped them understand their own children better, and also that children are coming to school with a lot of baggage these days.

        When I was a teaching student, we talked about standardized testing, zero-tolerance policies, and other recent school procedures and scientific studies all the time. The decisions are often controversial, yes, but a lot of times, I think teachers are often sorely overwhelmed, and they rarely get all the support they truly need.

        December 6, 2010 at 7:21 pm

  13. whoops, missing word.

    That should read: No one gains by *dictating* another’s thoughts. Ever.

    December 5, 2010 at 6:13 pm

  14. Wow, LW. I’m so sorry you are going through this right now. While I am not a parent, I can only imagine how tough it is. It sounds like you did the right thing by talking to her and it sounds like the school is also handling the bullying girls in a good manner. All around communication sounds like it is good. I’m sure in time it will blow over but I can tell right now this has been very concerning for you. [hugs]

    December 6, 2010 at 12:53 pm

  15. Thank you monsoon. Yes it is very concerning. It’s been so long since I was a parent and so many things have changed with the way they handle things in schools. There has been very good communication so far, so right now I am just waiting to see what they do with the kids that made the threat.

    December 6, 2010 at 1:34 pm

  16. Emmy

    Ladywise, I had been thinking a bit more about this, and sorry to sound like I’m somehow informed (I don’t even have kids, LOL, although I have worked with them as a volunteer at Audubon)! but something else occurred to me.

    There is some really great, modern, cutting edge literature on teen development. I’m sure you already know about much of it, but the more I read the more I feel like they’re onto something important.

    What I got from it was that positive inflences are hugely important. Just from my childhood – my sister was 9.5 years older than me. And I had lots of older “sister” types who were my sister’s friends. They would take me out for ice cream, movies (ones I was not supposed to see, of course, LOL).

    But anyway – despite these girls being a bit rebellious, they were so upbeat. They were pretty and successful. They made me realize that life does not end with high school. Even when I did not like my classmates, I had hope that my sis’s friends would be there for me.

    Point is, if there are girls around the neighborhood, or 20 something kids that are around, maybe all go out to a movie or something. I know my mom introduced me to kids my age from towns where there was not as much turbulence as our town. That also gave me connections I could turn to, at least on the phone.

    Sorry for the long comment. Just thinking out loud.

    December 6, 2010 at 5:15 pm

  17. Emmy

    Oh, I also meant to say – I went to a private school after one horrid year in public. So much better – and although we were poor, I earned a scholarship, much like you can do in college. I wonder if private schools still do that. My grades weren’t even perfect – Bs mostly, but just so you know that might be an option.

    December 6, 2010 at 5:17 pm

  18. I appreciate your comments Emmy. No I haven’t seen the studies you are referring to. I haven’t involved myself in anything to do with kids for a long time because I didn’t have the need to. That’s the reason I put this out here. I’m no different than a brand new parent here. There are “old style” basics that I know from raising my own kids, but there is so much new information out there in the way of studies, and teachers and counselors and such are so much more involved and educated today than they were then. I’m open to any suggestions or information I can get now. I actually feel like I need to go back to school to learn how to do this again and differently.

    December 6, 2010 at 6:35 pm

  19. Oh honey, that’s a harsh week you’ve had! Try not to panic too much at this point, girls of her age can be quite dramatic and what they say is not always what they mean. She may have just been trying to get attention drawn to the issue she was having with the other three girls. You sound to have dealt with it well and now she knows people are looking out for her she may settle down. The girls have been through a lot, it was always likely to manifest itself in some way or another but you’re dealing with it and that’s fantastic. You’re doing a great job, don’t ever forget it.

    December 7, 2010 at 4:19 am

  20. Awww thank you so much Vicola. I appreciate that. She’s been really good the rest of the weekend so I think it was just a reaction to what happened.

    December 7, 2010 at 9:23 am

  21. Freedom Smith

    I am so so sorry that I am only now seeing this. I am sorry that you have had to go through such a difficult experience!! I did not read the comments so I may have missed some of your comments.

    I have a wonderful website, a page to read if one is ever having suicidal thoughts. It is and it speaks to the person that is considering it. But is also explains to the rest of us what the person might be feeling.

    On the subject of telling on the other students, I might ask her not to report anything unless it is a bullying incident or a situation where a person might be hurt. The kids will get caught who cheat. I am worried that she will not make friends if she is known as the class tattle taler. Just my thoughts and I totally respect your opinion if it is different that mine.

    Hugs and love to you. I am so sorry about all of this and you are in my thoughts!!!! I have not been on the blog due to the deep depression of one of my daughters, so I know how upsetting it can be.

    December 13, 2010 at 8:08 pm

  22. When we were kids, that just wasn’t an option. these days, it’s in the news more and more and kids actually see suicide as a viable option for when things get too difficult. They often see it as the easy way out, but never fully realize that it leaves behind more tragedy in it’s wake than does dealing with the original problem.

    I believe you did absolutely the right thing by making her face the decision from the other side, imagining how she would feel if it were someone she loved who had said it. It is so easy to focus on just your own problems and forget that your easy way out will in fact hurt everyone you love way after you are gone.

    Yes, raising kids today is very difficult indeed, which is why it’s so important for parents to be there for their kids and help them through this kind of stuff, not just hand them material things and go on about their business. I am so glad that you are involved with the girls and there for them when they need it most.

    December 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    • Thanks K. This was probably the most controversial post I’ve ever done. It touched some heavy subjects with the bullying and the suicide threat. I’ve been through two suicides in my ex husbands family and they are truly devastating for everyone involved. I told Felicia about these. They happened quite a few years ago so she had no idea about them. I think what really impacted her the most though was telling her to imagine her sister being gone. She definitely had not thought about that.

      It was, for her, definitely just a reaction to the incident. Even with all she’s been through, she is not depressed in any way. She’s a very bubbly vibrant personality. She reacted to fear and that is troubling. I think between me, the counselor, her teacher and the principal at the school, all of whom handled the situation with great care and concern, she has been assured that she has no reason to ever become so fearful again that she would even think about something like suicide. I told her and they all backed me up on it, that should she ever feel threatened in any way again that she can go to the office and call me immediately. I hope that she never has a reason to feel that threatened again, but you never know. I never expected this.

      Raising children today is very different than it was even when I was raising mine, let alone when we were growing up. There are so many new rules in place and so many more and different types of threats out there. It is scary and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit it.

      I’m glad you got a chance to read this and I really appreciate your comments.

      December 29, 2010 at 11:36 pm

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