People Are Who They Are!

Sitting Back

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while. I had a little problem here with Hailey and had to deal with it. I knew there would be some issues to deal with sooner or later and they just came sooner. Hailey is angry and I don’t blame her. I think I’ve got it settled down for now and convinced her that she can talk to me when she’s angry rather than acting out. She really is a good girl and I don’t want to see her go down the wrong roads because of the anger that is festering inside of her. I’ve talked about taking her to a counselor but she’s begged me not to do that. She said she’s been in counseling over the years and she doesn’t want to talk to another stranger that she has to start over with. I can’t say as I blame her for that. She promised she would talk to me in the future, so we shall see.

Other than that, I’m still waiting to find out about the job I’ve been working on getting. It would solve a lot of problems to have decent money coming in, although having a full time job and not being at home in the afternoons will pose some new problems. But hey, this isn’t a perfect world and I’ve learned that much over the years for sure.

So, hopefully I’ll be back with some good news in a couple of days that I have a job.  I hope everything is going good for everyone else and I’ll try to catch up on comments over the next few days.



18 responses

  1. Funny thing is that life keeps coming, whether you are ready or not. It’s like skiing, you go that way and when something comes up in your way, you either turn or run face first into it. Hope things settle down from here on out.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:24 am

    • Thanks K. I do to. I really need things to settle down.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:18 am

  2. Girls always have more issues, more drama than boys. But, if you can break through the hormones and past experiences, than you might get a job as a shrink. Keep looking up.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:33 am

    • My son was so easy compared to my daughter and now I have two girls to raise. I feel like I’m a gluten for punishment here. lol

      No, these girls really want to be good girls and I think in time things will settle. I talked to Hailey and asked her did she want to stay here or did she want to go back to her dad’s since he is somewhat settled now. She said she absolutely wanted to stay here. She was just angry over a particular incident and acted out about it. It’s just going to take time and patience. One day at a time, that’s all I can do.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:23 am

  3. XO If she does not want counseling but you feel she needs it let her know she can meet them and if she does not feel a connection she can find another, a counselor should feel like a friend instead of a doctor… P used to want me to go see a counselor, but not a real one that would help me but someone who would make everything my dads fault.. sigh… sucks being a girl with all those conflicting feelings inside and no life experience to be able to sort it out. I truly feel for her. Bless you for being there for her, she is a lucky girl to have you

    January 25, 2011 at 11:44 am

    • Thank you so much Lav. She is starting to open up to me more and I think we will muddle through this. She has a lot of trust issues that I totally understand. It’s just going to take time to build that trust so that she truly opens up to me and feels comfortable doing it. It does suck to be a girl and especially one without a secure home life. I think once she truly feels secure here, she will get it together.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:26 am

  4. Hi LW! I think it is awesome that you have such good communication with your granddaughters. I’ve known some teenage girls to shut down and hide out in their rooms. That fact that she is willing to talk to you I think is a very good thing. I hope it all works out.

    I also hope that this job comes through for you. 🙂 Best of luck!

    January 25, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    • Thanks Monsoon. She is talking and she definitely doesn’t hide out in her room so those are good signs. I hadn’t thought about that so thanks for pointing it out. She spends all of her time at home out in the kitchen and living room with me so that’s a good thing. She enjoys cooking and I pretty much let her have free reign in the kitchen because I am right there to prod her along. I think the cooking is good therapy for her. It gives her a chance to be creative and it’s definitely an immediate gratification thing. I have faith that we will muddle through this even though I know there will be bumps in the road.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:30 am

  5. Emmy

    Well I suppose it’s to be expected after all she’s been through, in the end you’re the best resource she has. Maybe if not a counselor, a mentor would be available? Being a teen is hard enough in normal circumstances, this is tough on all of you, I’m sure.

    Hugs and good luck with the job – they’d be lucky to have you.

    January 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    • Thanks Emmy. Yes it has been tough but I think we are getting somewhere!

      January 27, 2011 at 8:30 am

  6. Good luck with the job. I also wanted to say that the baby picture up top is super-cute.

    January 25, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    • Awww thanks Scott! That is my new grandson Tatum. He is a bundle of joy!

      January 27, 2011 at 8:31 am

  7. Hope things are going better with Hailey. It’s tough to grow up in a chaotic environment. I’m absolutely sure your understanding, kind, and consistent love will have a huge healing effect. It won’t undo what’s already happened, but it will surely be a help from here on out.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    • Thanks LB! You are so kind. I think we’ll be fine. It’s just going to take time. Every day gets better in different ways and I did expect to have bumps in the road. This was just one of them!

      January 27, 2011 at 8:33 am

  8. *crossing my fingers for your new job* You know being a parent is the hardest job on earth and you are doing a great job with the girls!

    My mantra this year is, life isn’t perfect move on.

    January 26, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    • Thanks Maureen. I think I had forgotten that being a parent is the hardest job on earth and it’s probably a good thing I did or I would have chickened out on doing this. I’m glad I did it and I know it’s just going to take time to work out the kinks. It’s hard to begin a life living with anyone new and we just have to get on the right track. Most of our problems come from the outside forces that we have to deal with so it’s just a matter of huddling up here and them feeling secure.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:36 am

  9. It’s great that you know how to talk to the girls and get through to them. Hope things sort themselves out and Hailey feels better soon.

    January 31, 2011 at 3:41 pm

  10. I am not surprised that the girls are still have emotional turmoil to deal with, but I am also not surprised at how well you are working with them to get thru it.

    Something you may want to consider suggesting to Hailey, since she is not eager to go to another counselor, is keeping a journal. She could write out her anger on paper and keep it as private as she wants or share it with you or a future counselor, if she wanted to. There was a therapy exercises that I learned in counseling years ago, that I found very helpful. It was writing letters to the people that had hurt/angered me. I was not supposed to send them, but just the letters as a format for expressing the feelings that were bottled up inside of me. What I did with the letter(s) afterward was up to me, I could throw them away, shred them, burn them, or even save them away in a box somewhere. I ended up incorporating the exercise into my journal writing. I would write the letter as a journal entry and then just leave it in my journal and never send it. I found this helped me to find a way to express what I was feeling, and it also helped me to be more comfortable with writing what I was feeling into my journal.

    I am not saying this is something you have to have Hailey do, I am just sharing the idea as an option. I think you are already doing a wonderful job of helping the girls get thru all this time of adjustment.

    January 31, 2011 at 7:29 pm

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