People Are Who They Are!

Frustrated with Being Frustrated!

I am so tired of having so many things to be frustrated about. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to try to tell you about all the things I’m frustrated about and wouldn’t burden you with having to read about it all in the first place. I can just tell you that I’m exhausted. From the most difficult things to the simplest of things, everything I try to do seems to end up in just one big ball of frustration. I am just getting to my wits end.

Today’s frustrating things? My lawn mower won’t start. Well, it will start, after pulling it fifteen times, but it won’t stay started. I came in here and looked it up and I’m sure the carburetor just needs to be cleaned. Great. I don’t have the tools to do it with nor do I have the money to buy new gaskets or anything else I might need if I tried to do it myself. I don’t have the money to pay someone else to come and fix it. I called the man that usually comes and helps me with stuff like this and he was on his way to the hospital because they think he is having a heart attack…probably from so many people like me that are constantly calling him to help them with stuff and he is kind enough to try to help us all.

I gave up on the lawn, it’s already three feet tall anyway, another couple of feet aren’t going to make much difference. I came in the house and started cleaning and headed back to the kids rooms. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Hailey’s isn’t terrible, but Felicia’s, well I just can’t take it. This child will grow up to be a hoarder, no doubt in my mind. Apparently, every time I send her in there to clean her room, she just stashes everything in the closet and under the bed and in any hole that might hold something. Half of her clothes are stashed in there dirty. Paper is torn into tiny pieces and is everywhere. Most everything that has been bought for her by my neighbor has been broken in some way and stuffed back somewhere. I guess it’s my fault for not going in there behind her every single day and checking everything she does.

I’ve had so many problems with these children that I haven’t really discussed here. I can’t tell you how bad I would like to strangle their parents. Even if I didn’t have the financial problems on top of it all, it would still be driving me crazy. I’m so frustrated and I just needed to vent. (Sitting here shaking my head…)


14 responses

  1. I can only imagine how tough being a single parent is, but then having to be a single surrogate parent too boot… I give you great credit for being there and doing what is right for the kiddos. Lord only knows how bad things may have gotten with them and their situation if you had not persevered and did what must be done.

    Today is just a bad day. That’s ok. Just keep reminding yourself that with the kindness and love you are showing those girls, they will be ok. Better than ok. They will grow up and live better lives because of all this frustration you are going through. You are doing a wonderful thing and never forget that.

    May 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    • Thanks K. I need a little pat on the back every now and then. It was just a bad day. Hopefully today will be better.

      May 18, 2011 at 8:26 am

  2. The pressure is all on you. To provide to love to set them straight to make money. That’s so much pressure I don’t know how you are standing it. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    May 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    • Awww, thanks Lauri. I need all the thoughts and prayers I can get. I just have these bad days like this and think that it is never going to end. I just need to be reminded that there is a light at the end of the tunnel because that tunnel seems awfully long and dark sometimes.

      May 18, 2011 at 8:28 am

  3. Borrow the goats from the neighbor … for the kid’s rooms, not for the grass!

    (Not trying to be a jerk, just trying to lighten your mood).

    Yeah, it must be tough when things keep piling on.

    Try spritzing WD-40 into the carburetor. I’ve had luck with that for cranky mowers.

    May 17, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    • That’s funny GOM. I can just see the kids faces if they walked in and I had a goat in their room chomping down on the crap laying around in there. That vision definitely lightened my mood. Thanks.

      My brother is on his way home today. I haven’t seen him since Christmas and he will fix a lot of little stuff for me while he’s here. I’m excited today!

      May 18, 2011 at 8:31 am

  4. Oh yeah, forgot. If the lawnmower has been sitting outside in the rain, you might have some water in the gas tank. It happens, had more than my share of that problem until I bought the new mower. Will start and run for just a few seconds until it sucks some of that water in and stops. You can cheat and use an old turkey baster or similar to get the water off the bottom of the gas tank. Assuming of course that it is the gas tank causing the problems…

    May 17, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    • My brother is heading home today and he will fix it. I just had really wanted to have the grass cut and everything looking nice before he got here. He will take care of several little things that have been driving me crazy while he’s here. I’m really looking forward to his arrival. He’s truly my knight in shining armor!

      May 18, 2011 at 8:34 am

  5. Snowy

    Have you tried cleaning the spark plug? That’s more often the problem than the carburettor. Also, before you put the spark plug back in after cleaning, dip the bottom part in petrol. Usually works for me.

    May 17, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    • Thanks snowy. No, I learned to clean the air filter and check the oil and put gas in it and that’s about my limit as far as mechanics on the lawn mower. I bought it new last year so that I didn’t have any of these problems to deal with. It cranked right up the first time this summer and ran great then decided to poop out this time. My brother is headed home today and he hasn’t been here since Christmas so he will fix a lot of little things around here for me while he’s home. I can’t wait!

      May 18, 2011 at 8:37 am

  6. Hang in there LW. You’ve taken on so much and you are doing an amazing job at keeping everything under control. I am sending good thoughts your way.

    May 18, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    • Thanks monsoon. I need those good thoughts!

      May 20, 2011 at 1:07 pm

  7. Go for a walk and get some solitude for 30 minutes. You deserve it!
    Eldest daughter’s room used to get so untidy that I used to dramatically stage search parties for lost Sherpa villagers on her floor. She usually got the hint to clean up. I found rooms always got tidied if an assignment was due or they were suppose to study for an exam!

    May 20, 2011 at 1:37 am

    • That’s funny. I think the scorpion helped. It got cleaned for now…we’ll see how long it stays that way. lol

      May 20, 2011 at 1:09 pm

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