Frustrated with Being Frustrated!
I am so tired of having so many things to be frustrated about. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to try to tell you about all the things I’m frustrated about and wouldn’t burden you with having to read about it all in the first place. I can just tell you that I’m exhausted. From the most difficult things to the simplest of things, everything I try to do seems to end up in just one big ball of frustration. I am just getting to my wits end.
Today’s frustrating things? My lawn mower won’t start. Well, it will start, after pulling it fifteen times, but it won’t stay started. I came in here and looked it up and I’m sure the carburetor just needs to be cleaned. Great. I don’t have the tools to do it with nor do I have the money to buy new gaskets or anything else I might need if I tried to do it myself. I don’t have the money to pay someone else to come and fix it. I called the man that usually comes and helps me with stuff like this and he was on his way to the hospital because they think he is having a heart attack…probably from so many people like me that are constantly calling him to help them with stuff and he is kind enough to try to help us all.
I gave up on the lawn, it’s already three feet tall anyway, another couple of feet aren’t going to make much difference. I came in the house and started cleaning and headed back to the kids rooms. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Hailey’s isn’t terrible, but Felicia’s, well I just can’t take it. This child will grow up to be a hoarder, no doubt in my mind. Apparently, every time I send her in there to clean her room, she just stashes everything in the closet and under the bed and in any hole that might hold something. Half of her clothes are stashed in there dirty. Paper is torn into tiny pieces and is everywhere. Most everything that has been bought for her by my neighbor has been broken in some way and stuffed back somewhere. I guess it’s my fault for not going in there behind her every single day and checking everything she does.
I’ve had so many problems with these children that I haven’t really discussed here. I can’t tell you how bad I would like to strangle their parents. Even if I didn’t have the financial problems on top of it all, it would still be driving me crazy. I’m so frustrated and I just needed to vent. (Sitting here shaking my head…)