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I had to reblog this after I watched it. It is absolutely awesome. It’s well worth the five minutes I promise.

Remodeled…No Not Me

I have worked way more the last two weeks than I normally do and I am pooped! I finally am off for the next three days and I am so thankful! They brought a team in and remodeled our store over the last two weeks. Of course we all had to help and everything was in an uproar for a while. The remodel is finished though and everything is put back in it’s place and it looks great. Things have pretty much gotten back to normal except, we have to stay open an hour later than we did before which is ludicrous in this small town. They roll the sidewalks in at 8:00 and they’ve got us staying open until 10:00 now instead of nine. The only people out that late in this town are the criminals. Yay! Let’s make sure we’re opened for them.

The store really is much nicer. All the fixtures were replaced and we got new coolers. Most everyone is happy about it…except the old people. The really old people have fussed at me all week long. They are upset that everything was moved around and they want it put back! They’ve been very verbal about it and it’s comical to a point. After a while, and being tired, it’s starts to loose it’s humor. It takes a whole lot of patience to work retail and mine runs thin sometimes, especially when I’m as tired as I am tonight.

A Drabble for GOM

She spent days jotting down notes preparing to write the story. It was the chance of a lifetime and she wanted desperately to make a good impression. “You can do this!” she told herself. The subject matter was strong and she was sure it would be well received.

She began to type. After an hour she sat back and read it. “It’s awesome!” she screamed out loud.

Outside the house the storm raged. Bolts of lightning lit up the night sky, then without warning, lit up her house. In a matter of minutes it was all over. Everything was gone.

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Alright GOM. That was fun. lol I know you are supposed to put the heading and everything on it but I’m experimenting per your suggestion, so I didn’t make it official.

I’ve actually spent hours ranting about what to do with the blog and it was storming here last night pretty bad. The storms always make me nervous living in a trailer so that little drabble thingy seemed fitting.

I’ve started making lists in order to get some perspective on what to do with the blog. I have lists of things I like, things I don’t like, things I’ve done, things I’ve experienced and so forth. I’ve been to quite a few new blog sites to see what other people who have larger followings, or just enjoyable sites, are doing.

I found one guy who had been writing his blog for a couple of years. He had a pretty good following and generally got a couple of hundred responses to good posts. He’s a locally known body builder so he had a pretty good following. He had written a post talking about being angry about the way companies market so much junk food to kids and how he felt it contributed to unhealthy eating habits. While I totally agreed with what he wrote, I didn’t think the post was that great. However, it hit a nerve in people and he had gone from a couple of hundred responses normally to over 10,000 responses on that post. I read a follow up post he wrote the next day about it and he was stunned. I guess I would have been too.

One thing I’ve found while reading a lot of posts is that there are a lot of people that go around hitting the “like” button on hundreds of posts that I’m sure they never actually read just to drive traffic back to their own site. I would never do that and don’t like that others do it. It seems to me like a way of cheating. Just getting a couple of “likes” is almost as disheartening as not getting any response at all. I understand if someone normally comments and then is busy one day and just wants to let you know they read it and liked it and they don’t have time that day for more than that. That’s acceptable. But to use it as a form of advertisement for their site, I just didn’t think it was appropriate.

Well, that’s my update for now. I’m at least on the road to figuring something out.

Still Ranting

One of the things I really find difficult about writing here is deciding what to write about. How much of yourself should you let out here. I’ve been pretty forthright but I still hold a lot back. I think to myself, no one wants to hear about that part or no one wants to hear about that at all. It’s also difficult to admit just how many problems I have sometimes so I don’t necessarily do a complete tell all.

Living alone and being broke make for a boring life most of the time. I opted for this, the being alone part,  but it tends to make things difficult when you want something to write about. I have tons of stories from the past but who wants to dredge up the past all the time. I moved to another state to escape a lot of the past in the first place.

I’m a very emotional person. I’ve had a rough life. Some of it I had no control over, and some of it I brought on myself. There have been times that I’ve had a difficult time writing posts because I was crying so hard while I wrote them that I could barely see through the tears. Those emotions are a lot of what drive me to want to write, but who wants to read a bunch of sappy posts all the time.

I’m also quite funny to those who know me out here in the real world. I have a quick wit and a very dry sense of humor. I’m well liked, but I am known to be brutally honest. I’ve been called that. It takes too much effort to lie. You have to remember all those lies you tell and it’s easy to screw up. I’d rather be called brutally honest any day than to be called a liar. Besides, my mother always said she could look at my eyes and tell when I was telling a lie so I just always figured everyone else could too. I did figure out later in life that most people don’t pay enough attention to anything any more to notice that eye thing, but by the time I figured that out I was already in the habit of being brutally honest.

I’m a dreamer. I’m also OCD and ADD and all those D things that make most people think I’m a bit of a loon. Dysfunctional is definitely a good description of me if you were to compare me to most people. I’m old enough to not really care that much about what people think any more and in a position, being alone out here in the wilderness, to not have to worry about it. I set that up intentionally. I got tired of being judged all the time when every one that was judging me seemed to me to be in a lot worse shape than I was.

My kids are grown and both have severe drug problems and they are in their thirties now. Ridiculous for sure and I could definitely write daily on a blog about drug problems, but I don’t really want to write about all of that all the time. Again, I moved to get away from all of that.

I have an imagination, like I said, I’m a dreamer. But making up stories that are worth reading would take a whole lot of time. I check out the people I know on Facebook and they are posting ten and twenty times a day with things like what they had for breakfast and that they are on their way to the park with the kids. Tiny snippets of their lives all day every day. I have no interest in it so I have to wonder why anyone else would. Milestones, I can see posting about milestones in your life but not “Oh, I went to work this morning.” “I had cereal for breakfast.” For the love of God.

Yes, I know, I’m on a two day long rant now about this. I’m searching. Searching the files stacked high in my head. There is worthwhile stuff in there I know. I just need it to be meaningful somehow. Something worth actually taking the time to write or read. Time is precious and I don’t want to waste the precious time of people I call friends.

I’ll figure it out. I’m on a mission to do just that.

 

New Life

I need to breathe some new life into my blog. Having started out in Vox, I found a family, so to speak, and have stayed in that realm since the beginning. However, that family has strayed, something that isn’t uncommon in real families. A lot of the people I started out communicating with have gone for different reasons and it’s almost depressing anymore. I have a handful of people to communicate with and to spend an hour writing and get one or two comments is frustrating. Those of you who are still around, I love you dearly, so don’t misinterpret this.

So, I’ve been spending a little while in the mornings grazing through other sites and trying to “drum up some business.” How frustrating is that! First of all, for those of you who are here and reading, if you want to increase your readership, you must add your blog site to your gravatar profile. It’s easy to do and it is the only way people can find you unless they just happen across your page, which is rare I think. As I read a new blog I look at the people who have “liked” that post and click on the ones that interest me. If that person doesn’t have their blog listed on the gravatar profile page then you just get an idea of who that person is and no way to find their blog. It is just a dead end at that point. So make sure your blog is listed there. Otherwise your circle cannot grow.

I also understand that I was gone for several months and some of the people who used to follow me on a regular basis probably stopped following me because of that. My bad. Sixty hours a week at work caused that and nothing I can do will change it. I’m back and would like to pick them back up but you can’t force the issue.

I am also looking for something specific to write about instead of so much personal stuff. This is a truly difficult task for me because I’m so inconsistent. I’ve been that way all of my life. One week I’m all about this and the next week I’m all about that. While that inconsistency has been my downfall in many ways, the upside of it is that I’ve done a lot of different things in my life.

I guess I just need a decent direction here. If you get out and look around, this site is huge and the subject matter is unending. So how do you decide on one area to write about? My interests are so varied. Lot’s to think about. I just know that I need to do something different so I can get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of the time I spend here and maybe if I can pull a few new people into our circle, the rest of you will find some new friends as well.

Funk!!!

I could use that word as is or change a letter in it and it would probably better describe what I’d like to scream about now. It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m wide awake and feel really weird. I know Lauri said she felt “off” yesterday and I’ve been this way all evening. Is the moon full or something? My mind feels like I’m on some sort of weird drug or something but I’m straight as a board. I’ve had probably five major melt downs this evening over stupid stuff.

I hate to even tell anyone I did this, but at one point earlier, I had cut a watermelon in half and just stuck a spoon in it and took a big bite. It was sooo good and while chewing the first bite, I bit the hell out of my lower lip. It made me so mad that I slammed the spoon down hard in the middle of it and watermelon went everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. I screamed out loud and just had a major melt down filled with tears and everything. I don’t do things like that. I used to on an almost regular basis when I was young, but there is rarely a reason for it these days and I’ve spent years teaching myself anger management. There really isn’t a reason to do it tonight, it’s just this funk or whatever it is. Thank God I live alone and no one was here to have to deal with it besides me. It took me thirty minutes to clean the mess up.

I know someone is going to remind me about the comedian that did the watermelon thing (I forget his name) but trust me when I say, there was nothing funny about what I did. I grew up in and married into violence and this was a violent outburst and it bothers me severely that I went there at all, let alone four or five times in one evening. Maybe one melt down triggered the next or something, I don’t know.

I came here originally to be able to write about feelings and things that go on and hopefully get feedback on them. I try to stay positive for the most part, but I’ve also poured my heart out on more than one occasion. Tonight, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I’m waiting for my head to start spinning around on my shoulders or something. So freaking weird! I hope tomorrow is better. That damned watermelon is going to the chicken pen come daylight!

Big Plans

I had big plans for my day off today. My yard looks like no one has lived here in months because the grass is getting so tall. I’ve not touched the shed project since the mayhem with the ants so there are still quite a few things out in the yard that need to go back in the shed. My front porch is full of stuff that I took out of the shed and intended to bring in the house or use on the porch but it is just piled there still. So my plan was to take care of all of the stuff because I need to call the man that cuts the grass before I get lost in it. I looked out the window several times and just stood there shaking my head. No….it even looks hot out there.

So instead, I went to this little country restaurant down the street and picked up dinner. Gedney’s is a family owned restaurant and they have a little bit of everything. What I really like there is they have a good buffet dinner during the day and on Thursday and Sunday that dinner includes very good chicken and dressing. What is really nice is that for $8.99, I can get a to go plate and two dessert to go dishes and fill them just as full as they will get with whatever is out there. They don’t weigh the plates like some places do. Now, I’m not a big eater and I don’t stuff the plates but I do get enough that it feeds me lunch and dinner for two days. So $4.50 a day is about as cheap as you can eat anywhere for. Actually it’s cheaper than I could cook most things.

Today’s dinner includes chicken and dressing, giblet gravy, green beans, sweet potatoes, stewed zucchini and tomatoes, mashed potatoes, English peas, coleslaw and a small salad. Oh, and my favorite, fried green tomatoes. YUMMMMM! There was lots more to choose from, this is just what I brought home! lol I like a good variety, can you tell? I won’t eat that much of each thing at a time, so it will last a couple of days easily and I will still have left overs for the dogs. The ladies that cook there have been there for years and the food is excellent. I’ve never gotten anything that I would complain about.

Now my big plan for the rest of the day, since I’ve eaten a little of all that good food, is to pile up in the middle of the bed with about seven pillows, two fans blowing on me (to make sure the air conditioning flows perfectly at me) and a big screen television to watch and just relax. Well, I might peek out the window every now and then and look at all my stuff in the yard and make sure it didn’t put itself away.