It has been a harrowing weekend for me. I poured my heart and frustrations out here and the response and the comfort and the acceptance was overwhelming to say the least. I cannot thank you all enough for holding my hand and sending your hugs and offering your time. Your friendship gave me the strength and your words of comfort gave me the encouragement to pick myself up and move on and I have.
I spent the day today with my son and his wife and my granddaughter and it was absolutely wonderful. I needed to get out of the house and feel some love and that I did. My son has a problem with drugs as well, although not to the extent that my daughter does. He and I were able to sit outside in a beautiful country setting and talk about what happened with his sister. He was heartbroken and cried with me and it really was more beautiful than I could ever explain in words. I think it made him take a hard look at himself and realize that he needed to make some changes as well. God does work in mysterious ways.
This is my beautiful loving daughter that I miss so terribly. She is so lost and I don't know how to reach her now.
I tried to just move on today,
Act like nothing went on, hope it would just go away.
But I know the painful loss that I feel,
I know that the battles are all uphill.
I know the hurt you must feel inside,
I know you've lost love and so much pride.
How do I reach you, for I know not where you are,
You're out on a ledge, way out there so far.
I'm afraid you will fall and never return,
My heart aches for you, as a mother I yearn.
I yearn for that child that I held in my arms,
That frail little life I kept safe and warm.
I miss you my love, please come back to me,
I'm so sorry I can't help you in this dark time of need.
You suffer I know, and I suffer for you,
My heart is broken completely in two.
I would give you my heart, my strength and my soul,
If you could just come back and be once again whole.